There are many reasons people have relationships problems and most of the simplest issues tend to go unnoticed until they become something much more than a couple can handle. While it’s true that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, you can move beyond almost every problem if you know what the problem actually is.
Find the root of the problem and fix it.
Many people are not actually aware of what the problem in their relationship is. They know something is wrong, and it has probably been wrong for quite some time, but they just aren’t sure what it is.
One of the major problems in many relationships is money. There can be a few different causes for money issues but it’s usually either not enough money is being earned to support your lifestyle or the man is not the bread winner in the family.
Yes, I know that sounds very old fashioned and outdated, but men still need to feel as if they’re bringing home the bacon and sometimes women feel as if they are doing all the work if they are earning more money than their partner. Money issues really need to be discussed and resolved in order to get your relationship back on track.
Another issue that could be the root of the problem is attention.
If you, or your partner, feel as if you’re not getting enough attention from your partner it could lead to a number of small and petty fights. Generally speaking if lack of attention is a problem then trust will eventually become a problem as well.
These things need to be resolved.
Although there are a number of things that can be the root of conflict in your relationship, finding the cause might be a little more difficult than you think.
Often people tend to ignore the big picture and look for little things that are issues. This leads to nitpicking and just causes more tension in the marriage or relationship.
If your relationship issues revolve around no longer having time for one another and there is built up resentment you’re likely to find a lot of nitpicking about smaller things such as “You left the toilet seat up again!” or “Can’t you fold the laundry instead of throwing it in your draw!”
These small, and possibly irritating, little nuances are not the root of the problem, they’re just an outlet for you and your partner to argue over and ignore the real issues. Recognising what the problem is in a relationship is the first step to resolving your relationship problems.
Things do not magically fix themselves in one setting, though.
You and your partner need to schedule a time when you’re both calm and speak to each other about your concerns without blaming each other. Resolution comes from discussing the problem and actually working together to fix it. Ignoring the issues, nitpicking other little things, and fighting over the small stuff will not improve your relationship, it will only make things worse.
It can also help to engage a third party to help with these issues. Have you ever thought of seeking Life Coaching as a way forward?
With hundreds of hours coaching relationships, with great results, what do you have to lose (except your relationship of course). Give Ruth a call today on 1300 30 90 12 and she how she can help you.